Quarantine: Am I Doing It Right? A Guide for Over and Under Achievers

When my children were younger, I wrote a blog called Fork Mom (it’s still out there on the interwebs, folks). It was called such because I am a Fork Mom—the mom who volunteers to bring the plastic forks to the school party and not the Pinterest-worthy cupcakes. Someone has to bring the forks, right?  I wrote my blog about my parenting foibles while drinking out of my “World’s Okayest Mom” mug. Don’t think I didn’t love my Cupcake friends. I adored them. I admired their creativity and energy. I was grateful that they remembered to bring three different kinds of snacks to the park for the kids when all I had was a half a pack of Tic-Tacs in my pocket. They inspired me to try new things. How hard could it be to create a bulldozer-shaped birthday cake with a fondant candy version of my son sitting behind the wheel, anyway?  Very hard, I discovered. (Thank you, grocery store bakery, for rescuing me.) My point is, Cupcake parents are doing that whole parenting thing just right! And so am I. 

What in the world does this have to do with the coronavirus and half of the U.S. population being under mandatory quarantine? During this time of quarantine there will be both “Fork” and “Cupcake” people. Yesterday, a good friend only half-jokingly said to me, “It’s great you are writing all these blog posts and being super productive. I only managed to cry in the shower while washing my hair and count it as multitasking.” As she said that, I thought, “Oh right…shower. Damn.” Here are some things I’ve read or heard from friends about “how to quarantine”:

  • Now the time to change your life! This moment is a chrysalis! 
  • Now is the time to lower our expectations for ourselves. No…even lower.
  • I have great ideas for keeping my kids engaged and educated during homeschool.
  • My kids read the back of the cereal box this morning. Reading lesson? Check!
  • This is a time for relationship renewal with my partner. 
  • Can I apply the 6-foot distance policy to my spouse, please? 
  • I just cooked a gourmet meal that I rarely had time to do before. 
  • I finally used up those frozen fish sticks from the back of the freezer! 

So…to answer the $64,000 dollar question, “Am I doing this quarantine right??”

Are you staying at home? 


Then you are doing it right. 

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